This is for those of us who left home and went abroad.
Those who crossed borders carrying dreams, student bags, uncertainty, and prayers.
And somewhere along the way, we became part of other people’s comparisons.
“They went abroad and built a house back home.”
“They send money every month.”
“Look at what so-and-so has done for their parents.”
And suddenly, your own journey feels like it doesn’t count.
But here’s what I’ve learned.
You cannot compare two lives when you don’t know the journeys behind them.
Some people go abroad to work immediately.
Some go to study.
Some arrive with family, support, and a clear path.
Others arrive alone, trying to survive rent, school fees, jobs, immigration stress, loneliness, and starting life from scratch.
Comparison only looks at outcomes.
It rarely considers starting points.
And that is why it is so unfair.
For years, I thought comparison only stole joy.
Now I know it also steals progress.
Because while you’re busy measuring your life against someone else’s milestones, you stop seeing your own.
The degree you earned.
The courage it took to start again.
The bills you paid quietly.
The fears you overcame.
The resilience nobody clapped for.
The healing no one saw.
The life you slowly built.
Those things count.
Scripture says:
“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.”
Galatians 6:4–5
Paul also says:
“When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.”
2 Corinthians 10:12
Not wise.
Because comparison ignores what God never ignores.
Your starting point.
Your assignment.
Your struggles.
Your timing.
Your obedience.
People compare outcomes.
God looks at faithfulness.
And that changed everything for me.
Provision doesn’t always look like bricks and mortar.
Sometimes it looks like showing up.
Sometimes it looks like paying medical bills.
Sometimes it looks like making sure your parents have dignity in their later years.
Sometimes it looks like being emotionally present.
Sometimes it looks like breaking cycles.
Sometimes it looks like becoming the person your younger self needed.
All of that is success too.
So no, I will not measure my life using someone else’s ruler.
I can celebrate what others have done without shrinking what God is doing in me.
Every family has a different story.
Every person has a different starting point.
Every life carries a different assignment.
Comparison only looks at outcomes.
Wisdom looks at journeys.
And God looks at the heart.
