When giving, faith, and family expectations start to blur
This year, the requests have been coming steadily.
A church building.
Land for a new site.
A car for the priest.
And just today — another fundraiser added to the list.
All holy requests. All meaningful causes. All connected to faith.
But I have found myself asking a question I almost felt guilty for asking:
Is every holy request automatically my assignment?
I believe in giving. I believe generosity matters. I believe when we are blessed, we should not live with closed hands.
But I also believe blessing was never meant to be a blank cheque.
Somewhere along the way, the phrase “you are blessed” started doing a lot of heavy lifting. It can open wallets, silence questions, and make pausing feel like selfishness.
But blessing comes with responsibility. And responsibility requires wisdom.
Being blessed does not mean every request that lands at my door is mine to fund. It means I have been entrusted with something — and entrusted things require discernment.
There is a difference between giving because my heart is moved and giving because saying no feels too heavy.
There is a difference between generosity and automatic availability.
And this becomes even more complicated when the request comes through people I love — family, close friends. Because then it does not arrive as just a request. It arrives with honour, history, expectation, and the quiet pressure of being someone who has said yes before.
But I am learning to separate two questions.
The first is:
What is God asking of me in this season, with what I have?
The second is:
What are people expecting of me because I have said yes before?
Those two questions can look the same from the outside, but they do not come from the same place.
One is led.
The other is patterned.
One carries peace.
The other carries pressure.
And before I reach for my wallet, I need to know which one I am responding to.
I still believe in giving. Deeply.
But I also believe cheerful giving cannot be forced. If I give while feeling cornered, resentful, or emotionally pressured, then something in that giving needs to be examined.
Not every request wrapped in faith language is automatically mine to carry.
God is not limited to a building, a fundraiser, a committee, or a pledge card. So if I pause before giving, I am not pausing on my faith. I am practising stewardship.
A faithful person is still allowed to have a budget.
A generous person is still allowed to pause.
A blessed person is still allowed to discern.
So yes, give because you are blessed.
But give with wisdom.
Give with peace.
Give with clarity.
Give because you are led, not because you are cornered.
Because not every holy request is my assignment.
And sometimes, the most faithful thing I can do is stop, pray, and let my yes be honest.
